Jesii Crusade! (Part I)

I'm going to tell you a story about a great man named Jesus. If you havn't heard the 'good news,' yet, then congratulations this is your lucky day!

Jesus was born into a small coal mining town, Coalwood, West Virginia in 1955, a definitive baby-boomer. The expectation was that he'd follow in his father's footsteps, becoming a coal miner as well, but he and a group of about 12 friends, among whom he was the 'ringleader,' yearned for better lives than their forefathers.

After a youth filled with long journeys, small miracles, and rocket launches, the lot of them made a pact to all go to college. Unfortunately, due to a financial aid mishap, Jesus was not exempted from the Vietnam War Draft, leaving for boot camp with these departing words,

"Give to Caesar what is Caesar's. Give to god what is God's."

Nobody really knew what he meant, but no one seemed too bothered, he had a reputation for being quite eccentric.

Before you have yourself a pity party over our hero's crushed hopes and dreams, I ought to fast forward a bit...

Jesus' comrades were nearly all dead, the foxhole charred and all but deserted. It was only a matter of time now. Jesus opened the last letter he'd received from home,

...I'll send all my loving to you...
Love,
Pam

He refolded the letter carefully and placed it in his chest pocket, trying to clear his head of Pam and her soon to be husband, Roy. What a mess. A small rustling in the trees nearby. It's all over Jesus thought.

Charlies Everywhere! Explosions. He fired this way and that, unsure of his target. Suddenly a cold grasp on his vision, a loud pop, and then there was nothing.

But he wasn't dead.

When he awoke, it was like no time had passed at all. He looked down for his weapon, and tried to reach for it. It seemed his right arm had been severed; it felt cold, like steel... the war ended soon after that.

We didn't win the war... but we sure did kill a lot of people, and that's gotta be worth something, right?

The Extra: This picture was drawn by Shep Malone, during a Jesus drawing contest.